How to survive a breakup with a loved one

Parting with a loved one is the strongest emotional test for everyone. Especially if the relationship was long and hopes were pinned on them. Perhaps you planned a joint future with this person, you were very psychologically attached. And at one point everything collapsed. How to survive this difficult period of life? How to get on your feet after such a blow and want life again? How long should it take to re-learn to believe the opposite sex, and be able to build new healthy relationships? We will try to figure everything out in order.

Step 1. Acceptance and recognition of what happened

Most often, people break up because one of the couple made such a decision. In other cases, the separation is not justified. No living conditions, temporary separation and other reasons can not separate two loving people, if they really love.

If one person in a pair decided to leave, both are worried. But the one who was abandoned experiences more emotional shock. A man who decided to leave, slowly walked toward this, day after day realizing the correctness of his decision. And the man who was confronted with the fact was doused like a tub of cold water. He feels pain, misunderstanding, anger, guilt, resentment, love.

If you are abandoned, try to understand and accept this. If you love your partner even a little, leave him the right to make such a decision. Do not cling to endless hope to return it. Of course, perhaps in time, you will change and meet again. Perhaps you, having changed, will be able to build new full-fledged relationships. But now, there is no turning back. Do not humiliate yourself with requests and entreaties to return. Keep your self esteem. If this person does not want to be with you, if he did not understand and did not make out your soul, why do you need him? Release him. If this happens, then higher forces protect you for a more worthy person.

Accept what happened and find the strength in yourself to move on. Let your partner’s decision be his biggest mistake. And it is in your power to gather strength and step forward along your life path. With his head held high.

Step 2. How not to engage in self-eating

After parting with a loved one, most people begin to torment themselves with thoughts: “I’m to blame for everything, if I hadn’t done that, he wouldn’t leave me”, “Nobody will love me again”, “I won’t feel such love anymore”, “ “I will not marry and give birth to children, I will not have a family and a loved one, nobody needs me.” All these thoughts are very exaggerated and they do not even have a hundredth of the truth.

Usually such obsessive thoughts are born in young heads who are 14-17 years old. Young people are subject to youthful maximalism, and it seems to them that these relationships are the main event in their life. Believe me, there will be more than one such unfinished story in your life. And after a series of failures, when you learn to appreciate the main thing, you will meet the person of your life.

Can't believe it? Look at yourself in the mirror. You, of course, have a beautiful figure, a pretty face, clean skin, beautiful hair, a kind soul. Or maybe you cook deliciously or play the violin? Well, do you really have no merits for which you could be appreciated? Take a sober look at yourself. You have something to love. And let the representatives of the opposite sex line up in order to deserve your attention. Be sure, you will find your happiness, and the present moment you just need to survive.

Step 3. Release the situation and forgive the person

Anger, aggression and resentment destroy a person. If you engage in self-discipline, it will not lead to anything good. Bad emotions make people sick and old, do you need it?

Forgive your former partner. Let all his past deeds be terrible, let him cheat, deceive and drink on his part - let him go. If everything was so bad, thank fate for taking you away from this person and allowing you to live a full life. Thank you mentally for all the good that was between you, forgive and let him go in peace.

It happens that many women, delving into the causes of what happened, consider only themselves to blame. Cheated, because I was not good enough and sexy with him, cheated, because he did not want to bother me, drank, because he needed to relax after a hard working day. Take a sober look at things. Why are you justifying him ?! Remember how you felt when he drunk tumbled into your home. Remember how you felt when you learned that he was with another woman. Do you want to repeat these feelings ?! In no case! Do not blame yourself. A decent guy will love his girlfriend, even if she is shaggy in home clothes. The true union of souls occurs on an emotional level. And if you didn’t have such a connection, you don’t need to scold yourself. Thank the higher powers for giving you another chance for happiness.

Step 4. Take a break

This is the most difficult step to be performed, at least through force. Give yourself a few days to “gobble”. If this is not done, emotions will one day just pour out. Give yourself a few days to recover, cry, scream. Do whatever you want these days. However, when the days of “grief” are over, try to pull yourself together and take your mind off the current situation.

1. Work, study. Depending on the main field of activity, try to immerse yourself in study or work. Set a goal - to fully support yourself, if there are children - put them on their feet, buy a car or apartment. Light up this dream and put everything to fulfill it. Intensive work or study will distract you from unpleasant thoughts and help you forget.
2. Friends. With the advent of relationships, many people lose touch with their friends, family members, and loved ones. Perhaps the time has come to return a warm relationship? Meet friends again, go shopping and watch movies with your family, and devote time to your younger brothers and sisters. Understand that there are many people in the world who still love and value you.
3. Sport. Everyone knows that physical activity can save you from unnecessary thoughts. Go in for sports - this will not only distract you from suffering, but also tighten your figure. Intense sports activities allow the body to produce hormones of joy and satisfaction. If there is no way to go to sports clubs or fitness, just run, walk. Only at the same time you do not need to allow obsessive thoughts to overcome you. Take headphones with invigorating music for a walk or a run - this will cheer you up. And performing strength exercises in the gym will literally throw out all your resentment and bitterness with physical strength.
4. Hobbies. Remember that you did not have enough time during the relationship. Perhaps you have long wanted to read a book, start drawing or swimming, learn to drive a car. If your former partner did not support you in your endeavors, support yourself on your own when there are no more restrictions in the form of a displeased look or a ban.
5. Look for the good points. “There is no silver lining,” says a famous proverb. If you are left without a partner, this does not mean that you are left alone. Perhaps this is just freedom? Look for the pros in all the events of your life.Remember what you could not do when you had a loved one? Perhaps he did not approve of your late meetings with friends or forbade you to be in male companies? Live freely, visit male striptease with friends, flirt with men. Feel again that you are desirable, charming and beautiful.
6. Wedge by wedge. Of course, you should not plunge into a new relationship on the very first day after breaking up. But flirting and a little hobby will certainly benefit you. Learn to look at men again, flirt, play, live!

These simple tips will help you get a little distracted. And try to fill your temporary space as much as possible so that you do not have time for thoughts, drooling, snot and tears. Learn languages, improve your body, travel. Not a minute of peace!

Step 5. Do not go in cycles

This is a very important step that does not allow many to step over this grief and leaves people in limbo. Throw away or give away all items and gifts that remind you of your former partner. If you feel sorry for throwing, for example, gold jewelry, sell them, and for the proceeds, buy something you need, for example, a punching bag! No doubt you will peel it with pleasure!

No matter how difficult, delete all the tearful songs that remind you of "about him." For at least some time stop watching compassionate melodramas about love - you will certainly draw parallels. You should not keep general photos, you do not need to visit those places that were considered "yours". Turn this page of your life and start living anew!

Life is a zebra. An endless series of good and bad life moments. If you parted, it means it was necessary. So, life is ready to give you an even more valuable and expensive gift. They say that if happiness is great, then it comes in small steps. Wait a bit, soon it will roll over to you. The main thing is not to be sad and live on!

Video: how to survive the breakup