How to increase self-esteem in a child: useful tips

A child who is confident in himself achieves a lot in life. It is very important to instill a child with some qualities that will help him survive in this difficult world, where the competition in the specialist market is very high. It is important not to force the child to learn this or that rule, you need to explain it so that the baby understands the essence. It is important not to cram what is asked at school, but to learn how to independently seek information, to answer questions that have arisen, you need to teach your child self-education. But the main thing is to instill in the baby a sense of self-respect, self-confidence, the concept that the baby can do something better than anyone else.

There are two types of education and parents, as a rule, rarely seek a middle ground. If you constantly pull the child, say that he will not succeed, do all the work for him, then the baby will sooner or later believe in your words. He will understand that he really will not succeed, especially if this did not succeed the first time. And if the mother patiently offers the child to try again in something important, the child will grow up, and in adulthood he will not be afraid of failure, he will strive for the goal again and again. In this article, we will talk about self-esteem - how it is laid, how to recognize a child’s low self-esteem in time, and what to do about it.

Why does the child have low self-esteem

Self-esteem is very important in a person’s life, and not only in his professional field. A child who is groomed by his parents will adequately assess his appearance, value his health, dignity and honor. Such a girl in the future will never allow herself to be hit in the family, the boy will not allow humiliation. By cultivating a high self-esteem in a child, you help to choose only the best in life, from the profession to the status of life. You teach the baby not to be content with the small, achieve more. But in some cases, we ourselves, with our own hands and words, reduce the child’s self-esteem below the baseboard. Here are a few common mistakes parents make a baby unsure of themselves and their abilities.

1. "You can not!". It’s completely wrong if mom always tries to do everything for the child. If she opens him the juice, fearing that the baby will spill, does homework for him, fearing for the correctness of its implementation, suppresses all aspirations of independence. You need to understand that the child is growing, and mom will not always be able to be there. The moment will come when the baby will have to move forward himself. And for this, he must have experience - opening juice, doing homework, choosing a profession, etc.
2. "And Petya is better!". Never compare a child with other children - a neighbor, classmate or older brother. All children are individual, someone succeeds in physical development, someone is successful in learning, well, someone just draws well. When you say, “But Masha got the five for the math test, and you, as usual, brought the top three,” you humiliate the child. Yes, the triple for the test is unpleasant, but this is not the end of the world. Maybe your son or daughter will become a great artist, why do you need this math? Your task is not to reach high marks, but to help the baby choose a direction in life, push him if necessary, give him the opportunity to choose. And in this parental destiny there is no comparison with other children.
3. “You are a terrible child!” Another common and common mistake is the censure not of an act, but of a person. Do you know how Israeli mothers treat their children? They tell their children that they are the smartest, most beautiful and most successful.They don’t tell the child, “You are bad,” they say, “How could you, so good, commit such a bad deed?” Maybe that's why there are so many successful doctors, lawyers, and entrepreneurs among the Jews?
4. "Sit and do not lean out - be like everyone else!". Self-esteem in a child may fall if the baby is recommended a behavior model that was passed on to us from parents, grandparents. We can say that this is a relic of the Soviet era, when everyone was united, and standing out from the crowd was a mistake. Today is a time of strong, proactive and ambitious. Do not suppress your child’s desires and aspirations. If the boy likes to dance ballroom dancing, do not resist his nature, perhaps he will become a champion in this sport? Believe in your child, encourage his activity in public and personal life.
5. Indifference. How often does the baby try to do something himself, and the mother, in the hustle and bustle of working days, does not notice the painted portrait or says the fleeting “Well done”. You should appreciate the efforts of the child, show interest in his talent, support the baby. After all, you are his main viewer and listener. If the mother remains indifferent, the child's aspirations quickly fade away.
6. Nitpicking. It happens that a child’s self-esteem can collapse at one point if you walk through the child’s appearance. After all, parents are the main people in the life of a child, their words are perceived by unquestioning truth. Do not tell your daughter - “You are getting fat, you need to eat less”, but say “I bought two subscriptions to the gym, let's go together?” Parents' comments about appearance often develop into serious complexes that pass into adulthood.
7. Excessive rigor. If a child is punished for any reason because of the slightest mistake and oversight, the child will once again be afraid to take an extra step to prevent another mistake. Uncertain adults grow out of these children.

Some parents, not realizing themselves in the past, are trying to "recoup" on the children. Mom, not having become a confident businesswoman, is trying to raise such a person from her daughter, actively giving her to lessons in economics and business planning. It is important to understand that the child is not you, he has completely different talents and preferences. And the daughter gets much more pleasure from dancing in ballet. In the end, not allowing your child to do what you love, you can achieve a deplorable result. The girl will not be able to do business, because she does not like entrepreneurship and does not understand anything about it. And the dream to dance on the stage of the Bolshoi will remain a dream, because the mother did not attach importance to the wishes of the girl in time and did not give the child to study in this direction. As a result, an unsettled man with broken wings. It is clear that the parents do not wish the child any harm, however, try in your ambitions to still listen to the wishes of the little man.

We increase self-esteem in a child

Here are some simple tips to help you increase your daughter's or son’s self-esteem.

Praise the baby! But not for a beautiful figure or fashion portfolio, but for deeds. I got a good mark, transferred my grandmother across the road, helped a friend, stood up for my sister - all this is worthy of your attention.

1. Share your thoughts. In order for the baby to feel significant and adult, you need to consult with him - about the route of the trip, about the gifts that you will bring to your grandmother, etc. Ask your child for an opinion on a particular issue. And let the answer be obvious, let the child decide for himself. Well, of course, follow this decision, otherwise the significance of children's opinions will be lost.
2. Ask for help. Stop telling yourself that the baby is still small and does not know how. Believe me, a child at 7 years old can easily wash dishes or sew a button, and at 12 - prepare something simple for dinner.Just trust and understand that the child is growing, he already knows a lot, let the baby demonstrate his abilities.
3. Give it to the sport. Many boys' mothers complain that their son cannot fend for himself. You should not raise an aggressor from a child, but it’s still worthwhile to teach how to fight back. To do this, give your child to any sport, preferably in martial arts. The baby will increase self-esteem, he will understand that he can do a lot. However, in this case, it is necessary to clearly explain to the child that in ordinary life it is not necessary to demonstrate your strength and, especially, to beat first.
4. Relive the setbacks together. Many children are very sensitive to losses and failures. It is important to explain to the child that without them victory is impossible. That any achievement consists of many attempts and splits. This way you teach your child to be confident in his abilities, to achieve the goal, even if previous attempts were unsuccessful.
5. Inspire your child that he is smart and talented. When sending a child to school, tell him that he will succeed, he will receive five for the dictation and will surely pass all the standards for physical education. Children at the mental level catch the attitudes given by their parents. And if you say, “You are as loser as your father” and “you will not succeed,” do not be surprised that it will happen exactly as you said.
6. Believe in the baby. Children very subtly feel the truth and falsehood. Believe in your child in competitions, even if it seems to you that he is weaker than the others. Tell the baby that strength is not his trump card, but he has dexterity and endurance, this will definitely bring victory. Believe in your child sincerely, and he will be able to believe in himself.
7. Help wisely. No need to tell the child the correct solution to the problem, as well as leave him alone with all the tasks. It is important to find a middle ground and adhere to the rule - help only if the child asks. Give your son the opportunity to independently solve a problem in physics or some kind of problem in life. Only intervene if asked to.
8. Talk about looks. In many cases, the child’s self-esteem suffers due to deficiencies in appearance. Often this grows into a serious complex, which goes into adulthood. Talk heart to heart with the child - what worries him, maybe he is even teased by his peers for some kind of flaw. Help your child rectify the situation, if possible. Crooked teeth can be aligned by placing braces, the girl’s protruding ears can be hidden behind long hairstyles, glasses can be replaced with contact lenses, and excess weight can be corrected with proper nutrition and sports. If the baby is concerned about what cannot be fixed, help him love himself in any way. Convince the boy that short stature is not a problem, all the charming Hollywood actors are below average height. Tell a teenage girl that small breasts are not the biggest tragedy in life, on the contrary, a figure with small breasts looks neat and accurate. Moreover, she does not sag to old age! Look for positive qualities, convince the child that he is really beautiful, even with some of his features.

These simple tips will help you grow a confident child and your own strengths.

Praise, but do not overdo it!

In pursuit of a strong and strong-willed character of a child, you can mistakenly grow a narcissistic narcissist who believes that he is the best. Do not overdo it and do not allow it. Despite the fact that you praise the child for his actions, you need to put him on a par with other children. If a child is in a team, do not select him and allow what is prohibited to other children. You can give your child compliments, but praise for your appearance should not be too frequent. The child must clearly know the boundaries of what is permitted - what is permissible, and for which they can be punished.

The child must understand that he is not the center of the universe and not even the head of the family.He is a child, which means he must listen to the opinions of adults. Ideally, the baby should not be brought up in the family alone, otherwise it will be quite difficult to eradicate the signs of egoism from the existing personality. Teach your child to respect other people and their needs. Explain to your daughter or son that people should be treated the way he would like to be treated.

Self-esteem of the child is laid in the family. And the future life of a person depends on this, in which he will face a large number of people and situations. It is in our power to prepare the child for the outside world, to convince him of his significance and value. Most successful people have reached heights only because they did not know that this is impossible. Love your child, listen to him, give him wings and let him be independent. And then it will shine with all its faces, like a big sparkling diamond!

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