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Do you experience constant rudeness, sounding from the lips of not very well-educated people, and do not know how to react to the unworthy behavior of strangers? Learn not to let someone else's aggression into your inner world, for this there are several effective methods. With their help, you can avoid the negativity received in the morning in public transport, at the duty station, in the queues of shops or in your own home.
What are the causes of human rudeness
If a person is rude and insults others with or without it, there are objective and subjective reasons for this, which, of course, do not justify him, but will help you understand the source of evil.
Hopelessness
“I have my nerves to the limit” - a phrase familiar to everyone who had to experience extreme stress at work or in personal life. Remember the minibus driver, who was tortured by traffic jams, or the saleswoman, who was tired of endlessly smiling at every buyer and at times enduring human stupidity. It also happens that a very difficult task in the deadline at work completely exhausts your strength.
At such moments, people often break down at the first comer, trying with unconscious rudeness to compensate for their exhausted energy. Psychologists advise in this case not to respond with rudeness in response, the person who often offended you later apologizes, realizing that he was wrong.
Increase self-esteem
Some people, directing their rudeness to someone else’s address, experience a surge of energy, seeing the defenselessness of the offended person. Thus, they assert themselves, having no other reason to respect themselves.
Most often this affects people who are endowed with real power in the family or at work. Having no other leverage, they try, humiliating others, to raise themselves. Offended subordinates have to put up for various reasons, this is somewhere akin to the topic - to hit a recumbent.
To attract attention
The roots of this cause of rudeness lie in a person's early childhood. In dysfunctional families, where the child is not paid attention, he has to attract others with personal aggression and assert his rights. Growing up, such a person, according to the established tradition, cannot communicate with people without rudeness, he develops the habit of thus switching his attention to his own person.
How to respond to insults
The easiest way to endure rudeness and insults is people who are strong in spirit and have a high personal self-esteem. If a person loves himself, without prejudice to others, it is very difficult to shake, hook and offend him. Consider the most correct reactions to someone else's rudeness.
Do not take the blame on yourself
First of all, do not take everything that flies out of the mouth of an angry or aggressive person at your own expense. Lack of education or a spoiled mood leads to the phrases that he throws in your face, in fact, you are not present and close in his speeches.
Remember, attackers are weak, weak-willed and are victims of their own obstinate character.
Listen and be calm
Keep yourself in control, not going about shouting at you, and even more so, not answering the same ugly words. In the event that you will behave firmly, confidently and steadily, a person will drown in his own aggression.
Pretend that you are interested in the opinion of the rude about you, and with pleasure listen to his assumptions about your shortcomings. Nod and pretend that you agree and are ready to work on yourself. The offender is simply at a loss, and all his efforts will come to naught.
Rudeness is returned by a boomerang to its source if it does not find an answer.
Give prudent reasons
Sometimes people grumbling and shouting at you, expecting a frenzied reaction in response, get lost if you start to make smart arguments, as opposed to their insults. Never say: "Himself so!". It’s better to say: "You are wrong, because ...". The interlocutor can listen and change his mind if he is not a completely lost person, prudence will prevail over aggression.
In the event that a conflict is brewing with a loved one, it is important to try to calmly sort out the situation, sort out the causes and consequences of the misunderstanding that has arisen. In a family, all the troubles must be resolved in this way, because relatives should be protected more than themselves.
Close your ears
Naturally, this should be done, not in the literal, but in the figurative sense. Imagine that you are in a house, like a snail, you see and hear nothing. Even though the thunder will open above your head, you will calmly wait out the storm, closing yourself. Your energy field will not allow outside hostility. Any offensive words are smashed against a wall of silence and silence.
Step aside
If you are not in the transport or in the queue, where you have nowhere to go, but have encountered the offender on the street or in one of the corridors at work, just turn around and go the other way. Thus, you will preserve your own dignity, and “shut your mouth” to the offender.
You can leave in a figurative sense, transfer the conversation to another channel. One may ask: “Listen, how did you spend your weekend?” or "What happened to you, that you are so angry?"
Sometimes sympathy for the rude makes him weak.
A couple of phrases to help you
To prevent you from doubting how to respond to rudeness, use one of the following phrases:
- Sorry, I'm in a hurry, are you done?
- You seemed to me kinder.
- In anger, you look bad.
- Tell you the truth or answer?
- You really don’t think so!
- Calm down, everything will be fine with you too.
- Of course, take a seat, because I'm younger (in transport).
- Thank you for your attention to me personally.
Remember your rights. In some cases, a person may also be held criminally liable for insulting honor and dignity.
As you can see, there are many ways to remain a man in clashes with rude people who inflict undeserved insults. Choose the most suitable for your character. Be above verbal dirt, it is poorly washed off from the soul. Yes, by the way, sometimes a simple sincere smile works against slander!
Video: how to respond to insults
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